Not My Thing
by DarkmoonTenshiAzara
Summary: Why did this have to happen to me? My sister's the Anime Freak, not me! Now I'm stuck with some whiny pipsqueak, a walking suit of armor, and some dude named after a horse. Why didn't I read that manga when my sister told me to!
1. Chapter 1

**Darkmoon: Yo, Mina! Hello everyone! Welcome to my first FMA fanfic. I actually had several ideas based on the cliché "FMA fan gets sucked into the series" plot to try out and see if I could make it different, but I decided the best way would be to use an OC that is not based on me in **_**any**_** way- she's based on my sister. The reason for this? I hate being put into awkward situations. I hate watching my friends in awkward situations. I enjoy watching my sister get put into awkward situations. And, in a fic like this, there will be awkward situations galore. Another thing that will make this fun is that my sister knows **_**nothing**_** about Fullmetal Alchemist, other than the tiny miniskirts line and an episode I tried to show her, which gave her nightmares the rest of the night. I'm going to have fun writing as a twelve year old. Hehe… Anyways, please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, the characters in it, or an actual computer. I'm doing this on a suck-ish, lagging laptop that is full of glitches.**

**~~NMT~~**

Anime?

Yuck!

Justin Bieber?

Heck YES!

At least, that's what I always thought before all that crazy stuff happened. After all, among the awesomest(1) kids at school, this was the general opinion. We sixth graders have our priorities in order, you know?

My name is Katie Whitmer, and I am the total opposite of my older sister, Rae. She has thick curly dark-blonde hair. Mine is thin, light-brown, and straight. She's really tall, almost 5' 9". I'm stuck at an even 5 feet. She loves Japan, and video games, and a show with some Fullmetal-something. I am- or was- a dedicated follower of Hannah Montana, and hoped to make Zac Efron my future husband!

Because of this, we hated each others' guts. Nah, that's a little extreme. More like… we were sworn enemies. No, that's still too much. …Rivals? That's not good enough. Anyways, we didn't like each other, and that was that. The only people I could count on were my super-amazing friends!

…Or so I thought.

"Amanda? What the heck is that?"

The redheaded girl looked up from the book she was reading. "What's what?"

I pointed at the book in her hand. "That… evil thing of… violence and swearing!"

Amanda glanced down at it. "Fullmetal Alchemist?" She grinned at me. "I caught a glimpse of my brother watching an episode on one of his DVDs, I decided to watch with him." Her grin became even wider. "I totally fell in love with Ed! He's so tiny and cu~ute!" She squealed in delight. I hated that squeal. "Don't ever tell him I said that! He's so sensitive about his height."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course I wouldn't tell him. He doesn't exist." I sighed and sat down to eat my stupid packed lunch. I wished I could buy a school lunch, but my mom always said no, that there was no need to spend extra money on a lunch we already had. I glanced at my former friend- former, since I refused to associate myself with someone who actually liked that violent show. _What is this world coming to?_ I wondered, not for the first time.

~~NMT~~

I arrived home after my sister, whose high school let out earlier than my middle school. "Where's Mom?" I asked, my traditional replacement for an "I'm home."

Rae looked up at me from her notebook. "Not sure. Think she was going t' go shopping." (2)

I grimaced internally at her accent. Why couldn't she say "to go," instead of "t' go?" "You sure you don't know where she is?"

"Yeah, 'm sure," She looked back down at her notebook and began to move her pencil back and forth. I realized it wasn't homework.

"Are you drawing?"

She smiled and held up her drawing… of some kid with evil eyes and weird shadowy thingies around him with lots more eyes- and teeth. "I'm drawing Pride! What d'you think?"

"…I don't know what to think. I don't even know who the heck he is!"

"He's 'n evil little boy from Fullmetal Alchemi-"

I quickly covered my ears and walked away into the office. I would have to drown her out with her least favorite song- Party in the USA, straight from the computer. I took out my cell-phone for a moment, texted someone back- I wasn't too sure who it was, since I had so many contacts- and put it back in my pocket. I was so glad that Dad had given me a cell phone!

I grabbed the computer mouse and jostled it, bringing the screen to life. I expected the creepy wallpaper of the black-haired guy with a ponytail and purpley eyes with a gray hand and red tattoo of a dragon-thing to pop up, that Sister Dearest loved oh-so-much.

I didn't expect the picture I saw. It looked like some sort of pure white room, with some freaky gray door, and some white… person… thing in front of it. "Nice new wallpaper, Rae," I called into the other room.

"What?" Rae sounded confused. "What d'you mean?"

"On the computer."

"I didn't change the wallpaper, Kate."

Now I was freaked out. The white of the picture was starting to seep into my vision. I wanted to blink to clear my vision, but there was something… hypnotic about it. I couldn't look away. _Come on! Its just a computer screen! Just turn your head and-_

When I finally managed to wrench my head around, I groaned as I realized that the whiteness must have spread into my vision so much that I was still seeing. "Great. Now I'm blind!"

"_**Are you, really? If not, I'm sure that could be arranged."**_

I froze at the voice. That was definitely not Rae. I whirled around to see what looked like a life-sized version of that wallpaper, now in front of me. I couldn't help but stare. Was it just me, or did that person seem to be shaped like me? Wait- of course it was just me. I was the only one there at the time.

"_**Why so quiet, Child? Do you think yourself unable to speak, as well?"**_

"Uh…" I had no idea how to answer this person… or thing… or was it a ghost? "What the heck are you?"

I thought I saw a smile on its face. _**"So you can speak after all! Well, to answer your question, I am called by many names. I'm the world! I'm the universe! I am God! I am Truth! I am all! I am one! And most importantly, I am also," **_It lifted a hand to point at me, _**"You."**_

The door opened suddenly, and I screamed as I saw the colorless eye inside. What was that creepy laughing sound I was hearing, now? And those freaky tentacle-hand things? Said hands were starting to wrap around me and drag me towards the door. Frantically, I tried to pull them off, but more began grabbing at my arms as well. "St-stop! Let go!" I shrieked

"_**Come now. There's no reason to struggle. All will be made apparent to you in due time."**_

I was dragged in, and the door slammed shut.

**~~NMT~~**

**(1) She's a twelve year old. It's in her nature to make up fake words**

**(2) I recently realized that, at least to my own ears, I really talk like that. Ugh! I sound like a hick!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Darkmoon: Wow! Only one day has passed and I have about ten reviews? That's a record for me! This chapter was difficult for me to write, mainly because I still have no clue what Anyways, I asked my sister what body part or ability she would lose if she had to lose any. Her answer? "My pinkie finger!" However, Katie will not be losing her pinkie. She will lose something… but that won't be revealed until she finds out more about the Truth and how it works for other people too. Anyways, here's the next part of the story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, the characters in it, or McDonald's. Yes, there is a McDonald's reference in the story.**

**~~NMT~~**

I woke up to the smell of cigarette smoke and lunch meat, which isn't a very good smell to wake up to. I groaned and clutched at my head, sitting up.

"Whoa, take it easy, young lady. That looks like a pretty nasty bump on your head."

I froze at the unfamiliar voice, before looking up at who it belonged to. Two men were kneeling down next to me, both in somewhat familiar blue uniforms. _Now where have I seen those uniforms before? _One man had sandy blond hair, a lean face, and a cigarette in his mouth. The other was a bit… chubby, for lack of a better word, with reddish-brown hair and stubble on his chin.

The round man spoke then. "Hey, kid, what's your name?"

"Katie," I answered simply, before looking around. Somehow, I was in an alley of some old-fashioned looking city. No, not the old-fashioned as in log-cabin and tri-cornered hats, but more like… something from the early 20th century. "Uh… where the heck am I?"

The smoker seemed a little surprised at the sudden question. "You're in East City."

"East City?" I had to keep from laughing. "Don't you think that's kind of a lame name?"

The round guy chuckled a little. "Well, it certainly is unoriginal, that's for sure." He held a beefy hand out to me. "I'm 2nd Lt. Heymans Breda, and this is 2nd Lt. Jean Havoc."

Jean(1) waved slightly. "Hey."

"Uh… nice to meet you, but I need to get home." I started to stand, but staggered as a wave of dizziness hit me.

Heymans held a hand out to steady me. "You probably need to sit down. I don't think you're in any condition to go walking anywhere."

"If you need me to drive you, I could take you home," said Jean. "Just tell me where you live. After all, it can't be too far from here."

Heymans, however, grabbed Jean's arm. "Havoc, we don't have time for that. We have to get to the train station to pick up the Colonel."

I was about to ask what the heck he meant by that, but Jean cut me off before I could even open my mouth. "Oh yeah. He was in Central dealing with that Freeze Alchemist guy."

That definitely wasn't something I expected to hear. "Alchemist?" the only alchemist anything I'd heard of was that annoying Japanese comic book and TV show mentioned before.

Heymans nodded. "Yeah, some guy from the front in the Ishvallan War who turned rouge."

That wasn't exactly an answer to my implied question, but now I had another question. "What the frick is an Ishvallan?"

The men gave odd looks. I figured it was from my use of the word "frick," but I refused to swear, so if they expected me to, they thought wrong. That wasn't why they gave me the weird looks, though. "Katie," Jean said slowly. "How old are you?"

"Twelve. Why'd you ask?"

Heymans frowned. "You should have at least _heard_ of the war, by that age."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well, the only war I know is the War in Iraq."

The men's expressions became blank. "Iraq?"

"Yeah, you know. The place where that Obama- sorry, I got the name a little mixed up- That Osama guy's from."

Heymans and Jean looked at each other, then back at me. "Where're you from?" ask Jean with a lifted eyebrow.

"Well, I was born in Orange County in California, then my family moved to Illinois, where my little brother was born, but when my dad-"

"We mean, what country are you from?" Jean interjected.

Okay, that was an odd question. "We're in the United States of America… right?

The pair glanced at each other again. _What's so weird about me?_ I had to wonder. Heymans and Jean moved away for a few seconds and spoke to each other in whispers- about me, no doubt- leaving me confused and annoyed.

Finally, Jean came back and pulled me to my feet, grabbing my arm as he did so. "Listen. You're going to have to come with us, young lady."

I tried to pull out of his grasp. "Why? What did I do?"

Heymans put a pudgy hand on my shoulder. "There's a lot about your story that doesn't make sound right, so we're gonna have to talk to the Colonel and see what he thinks."

Crap. I wasn't sure who this "Colonel" was, and I wasn't sure I wanted to find out. "Uh… My mom tells me not to go with strangers," I said, trying to find an excuse. "Not even if they have candy or a McDonald's Happy Meal!" I mentally slapped myself right there. _Geez! Way to sound like a little kid!_

"Listen, Miss Katie," Okay. So I was a "Miss" now? "In case the uniforms and rankings didn't tip you off, we are with the military, and your resistance could be seen as grounds for arrest."

"WHAT?" They couldn't do that, could they? "But… You can't arrest me! I'm just a kid!"

Jean shrugged. "So? I've seen a twelve year old kid pass the State Alchemy Exam with flying colors. I've learned not to judge people by their age."

Heymans pinched Jean's ear. "Yeah, but he's a prodigy. She really is just a kid!"

"That's just what she wants you to think! I bet she's an Aerugan spy!"

"What? Why the h-" I mentally bleeped out his cuss word. "-would Aerugo send a spy our way?"

As the two men argued about who I was, I tried to take that opportunity to try and get away. Unfortunately, Jean still had my arm, and he noticed the second I squirmed out of his grip. "Hey!"

"Look! I just want to go home and hang out with my friend Marissa! I don't have time to meet this 'Colonel' guy or whatever!"

Jean's expression softened slightly. "Hey," he said, squatting down to my height. "After we go meet the Colonel, we'll try to get you home… wherever that may be."

I glared at him. "Promise?"

"Promise."

He stood up straight and turned to Heymans. "Oh, hey! Speaking of Edward, I heard he was in Central helping out the Colonel."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. The kid's already got a bit of a reputation, and I figure that soon the whole country's gonna be buzzing about Fullmetal."

I went stiff. Did he really say that? "Uh, did you say Fullmetal?" In my head, I was chanting _Pleasebewrong!Pleasebewrong!Pleasebewrong…_

"Yep. The Fullmetal Alchemist!" said Heymans.

I managed a weak "…Oh."

In my head, I was screaming _Oh HECK no!_

**~~NMT~~**

**(1) A twelve year kid probably wouldn't know to call military officers by their last names.**

**Thanks to:**

MoeLolo

Nikkome Konno

Auzie Ninja

Alice Nyte

Ninja-on-the-run

Amethyst2241

**and**

Alicia Elric

**for reviewing!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Darkmoon: Yikes! I swore I wouldn't wait too long between updates on this fanfiction, and its already been almost two weeks! Well, I do have a viable excuse: school and parents. (Wait… that's two. Oh well.) Anyways, this is the first chapter of the story that I wrote a full rough draft for before typing it out. This means a whole lot more will change between the two versions. I also had my sister preview this chapter and she approved of it. She said that it was a lot more accurate than the "killing herself" she came up with. Please, enjoy the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, 4-koma theater, any of the characters associated with them, or the Metra back in Illinois. (I love that big old heap of metal…)**

**~~NMT~~**

Major train stations are probably the same no matter what world you're in. Sure, this one was smaller than the Metra station in Downtown Chicago(1) (not to mention there weren't many signs advertising beauty products or movies), but there was something that just seemed… similar about it. It was probably the gray walls.

I followed Jean and Heymans through the station as they made their way to a line that currently didn't have a train visible on it. Jean had a somewhat sour expression on his face- which was most likely because I called his old fashioned (to me) car a heap of junk, and made him toss his cigarette, since I had no desire to ride in a car that smelled like smoke.

Standing between the two 2nd Lieutenants, I stared down the track. "So, when does this train get here, anyways?"

Heymans pushed back his sleeve to look at his wristwatch(2). "In about… two minutes, give or take."

"…Two minutes?"

"Mm-hm."

I pointed at the ground near my feet. "We're going to be standing here… for two whole minutes?"

Jean shrugged. "More or less."

I sighed, squatting down to sit. "I might as well get comfy."

"I wouldn't sit there, if I were you," said Jean. "You have no idea what's been there, and I'm not sure if _I_ want to know either."

I didn't have any trouble standing the rest of the time. I fidgeted a lot, however, and started singing a little bit of "Baby" and "Dynamite." I stopped mainly due to the looks people were giving me. _Tough crowd! People here just don't appreciate good music._

Finally, after what seemed like forever to my twelve year old mind, the train arrived. I had already noticed that things in this world were old fashioned (the reason I called Jean's car old), and this train was no exception. It was the classic metal beast, complete with smoke stacks, coal cars, and that slotted pointy thing that was attached to the front. I never could find out what it was called.

The train rolled into the station and the passengers began to file off. I caught a few glimpses of other people in the blue military uniforms Jean and Heymans were wearing- most of them being men. Two of them, a black haired man and a blond woman, began walking towards us. There was something in the man's eyes that I immediately didn't like(3).

"Uh… is that the Colonel guy you were talking about?" I asked, turning towards my two escorts, only to see them already saluting. "Uh… guys?"

The black haired man stopped a few feet away from us and sighed. "At ease, you two," he said in a deep, tired voice. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something both familiar and annoying about that voice. The man noticed me then, seemed to look me over, then sighed. "Havoc, don't you think this one's a little young for you?"

I didn't know what he meant, but Jean clearly knew, as he rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Har har, very funny, Chief. Breda and I found her passed out on the streets and we told her we'd get her home."

The man raised an eyebrow, then bent down to my level. I hated when people did that like I was a little kid. "You mind telling me your name, kid?" There it was! Proof that he saw me as a kid.

Well, maybe I could play around. "Katie," I said simply.

"Could you tell me your _full_ name please?" he pressed. His voice had a somewhat annoyed tone to it that he was clearly trying to hide.

Well, I'd heard it, and decided to use that tone on him. "Kaitlin Whitmer."

"Right," he said in a voice that seemed to say 'I know what you're doing. Stop.' "Could you tell me where you live?"

"Under your bed," I replied sarcastically. I was on a roll here! The only other people I had been able to do this kind of thing with were my close friends and family. The expression on the man's face, however, showed plain as day that he was not amused. I sighed. "Lenexa, Kansas."

Now the guy looked confused. "And where is that?"

I rolled my eyes and rattled off what I knew. "Just an hour from the border to Missouri, somewhere between Olathe and Kansas City. And by the way, I still don't know your name."

The man blinked a few times, clearly realizing the same thing for himself. A smirk played on his lips. "I suppose I should introduce myself, huh?" He stood up straight. "Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist."

There it was. Alchemy again. "Hey, uh… if you don't mind me asking, what _is _alchemy, anyways?"

All four soldiers stared at me in shock.

"How can you not have heard of alchemy?" asked Jean. "It's everywhere, even if you're not an alchemist."

"Well so-ree! We don't have alchemy in America!"

Roy's eyes widened slightly. "Wait. America…" He turned towards the woman, whose name I still didn't know. "Wasn't Warrant Officer Falman reading a book about some place called America?"

"Actually, I believe it was a series of books. 'Land of the Free,' it was called."

"So you've heard of it?" This was great news! I wouldn't have to stick around here much longer! I could get home! I could go make up with Amanda and tell her what had happened! I could-

"It's not supposed to exist."

Roy's words took a moment to sink in. "But… But that's impossible! I grew up there! My family is there! You can't tell me it doesn't-"

Roy covered my mouth with his hand. "Please try to keep it down. In case you forgot, we're in public." I glared at him as me removed his hand. "We'll continue this discussion at Eastern HQ. For now, come with us."

"Jerk," I muttered. I saw the faintest smirk on Roy's face again. Apparently, he enjoyed my misery. I grudgingly followed him out of the station.

Today couldn't really get any worse, could it?

**~~NMT~~**

**(1) The station in Downtown Chicago really does seem a little like the one in FMA- to me at least.**

**(2) I have no clue whether Heymans has a wristwatch or not. I decided to give him one for the sake of this chapter. You may never see that wristwatch again.**

**(3) My sister easily judges people at one glance. I think she'd be as annoyed with Mustang as Ed is.**

**I don't have much to say here, except that I want to point out right now that this will **_**not**_** be EdxOC, AlxOC, RoyxOC, etc… I will actually be adding another character who did not show up in the Manga or Brotherhood , but at the same time it won't be the same character. **

**I am also going to add an Omake at the end of each chapter (Really, just a written version of 4-Koma Theater…)**

**-OMAKE: Fullmetal-**

Ed proudly showed off his automail arm. "My name is Edward Elric!" he shouted. "I'm the State Alchemist with the metal arm and leg!"

Al stood behind him, and also shouted, "I'm Alphonse Elric! I'm the alchemist with a whole body made of metal!"

They both grinned- well, Ed grinned, since Al was unable to. "Together, we're the Invincible Elric Brothers!"

Hawkeye stared at them blankly for a few moments before pulling out a giant magnet. Inevitably, both brothers ended up stuck to it.

So much for "invincible."

**-****おわり****-**

**Special thanks to**

Ninja-on-the-run

Auzie Ninja

Nicjole

Alicia Elric

Nikkome Konno

Cherry Blossom Massacre

**And**

Amethyst2241

**For reviewing the previous chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Darkmoon: Ugh. I'm not happy at all with the way this turned out. The only consolation I have is the fact that I was able to work a 2003 anime exclusive scene into this. You'll know the scene when you see it. I am also sneaking in some Parental!HavocxOC into the story. There will be several similar types of relationships, but no pairings except cannon and OcxOc. (Yes, there will be more Ocs, but not enough to completely change the story.) I had writers block who knows how many times while writing this. To overcome it, I started on a new fanfic, which will hopefully have the first chapter up in a few days. To top that off, I've been depressed over Riku's new haircut in Kingdom Hearts 3D. Despite all this, I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, 4-koma theater, any of the characters involved, or a Nintendo 3DS. (I want one so bad right now…)**

**~~NMT~~**

The weather outside was pleasant and sunny as we left the train station- which was also the exact opposite of how I currently felt. I swear, this world was making fun of me.

Jean walked a few paces behind Roy, chatting idly with him. I began to eavesdrop on their conversation. "Hey, congrats on taking out the Freezer, Chief. I heard about what happened." So they were talking about this "Freezer" guy again.

Roy sighed, not glancing once at the blond man. "It wasn't me who took him out. It was the Fuhrer, but he's been giving me credit for the job, even though I was elsewhere in the city at the time, cleaning up the Freezer's mess."

Heymans' eyes widened slightly. "Really? But, why would the Fuhrer tell you to take credit for his actions?"

As I started wondering who this "Fuhrer" guy was, Roy shrugged. "Who knows? But I'll dutifully obey my orders; At least until _I_ become Fuhrer and every one of _them_ is obeying _me_."

The woman, who I had found out earlier was named Riza, spoke. "You should be more discreet about those declarations, Sir. Some would call them treason."

Jean smirked. "You know, Chief, she's right. It's a presumptuous thing to say. You got a death wish, or something?"

Roy stopped, and the rest of us glanced at each other. That's when I realized I had seen this something like this before glancing over my sister's shoulder. _Come on! Rae showed you and Josh this! You may not like it, but you should know this!_

The colonel spoke slowly. "That's a stupid question, Havoc. I say it because its true, and when I'm Fuhrer, there will be changes."

_That's right! Rae and Josh imitate this all the time! That means… the next thing he's going to say is-_

"That day, all female officers will be required to wear… TINY MINISKIRTS!"

Yep. _That's _what it had been. Come to think of it, I had tried to use what Roy said in that scene to make my mom force Rae to stop watching the show… and failed.

Riza sighed in exasperation.

Heymans began drooling.

Jean got a bloody nose, his new cigarette fell out of his mouth (I had no idea when he decided to light another) and glomped onto Roy's leg. "You're a miracle, Mustang! I'll follow you for the rest of my life!"

Roy nodded. "Yes!"

I glanced up at Riza, who shook her head and just walked past the three stooges. Yeah… that was the perfect name for these guys. Unless all the men here were this stupid, then I'd have to come up with a different name for them.

I followed Riza to the car, not waiting for the three stooges to realize we had moved on.

~~NMT~~

I stared up at the gray prison-like building from the inside of the car. "What the heck is this place?"

"Eastern Headquarters," Roy answered. He turned to face me, a serious look in his eye. "Not just anyone is allowed into military headquarters, so if anyone asks, you're Havoc's niece."

"What? Why me?" Jean protested.

Heymans smirked. I had all but forgotten him until that point. "What, you think you can't handle being an uncle?"

"Don't I get a say in this?" I asked. "Why can't Miss Riza be my Aunt or something?"

Roy and Riza exchanged a look, and the latter knelt to meet me at eye level. "I'm an only child, and the General in command here is my grandfather."

"Oh." That made sense. This General guy would definitely know something was up if Riza showed up with a niece.

Jean cleared his throat. "So are we going in?"

Roy nodded. "Yes, we are."

As I got out of the car, Jean leaned in close to me and hissed "Don't screw up, Katie."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure thing, Uncle Jean." Heh. That rhymed.

I walked next to my "uncle" as we entered the building. A man standing guard at the gate lifted an eyebrow when he saw me. "Who's this?"

Roy was the one to answer, glancing at me. "Her? She's Second Lieutenant Havoc's niece. She came out to East City to visit, so Havoc's keeping an eye on her."

The guard smirked. "Visiting East City? There's almost nothing out here."

"Tell me about it," Heymans muttered under his breath.

This conversation was repeated a few times when we walked through the halls inside the building. For the most part, however, people ignored me. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, I couldn't decide. Probably a little of both.

Roy stopped us in front of one of the many doors. "This is where I work," he explained to me.

I wasn't sure how he could tell it was his door. There was nothing to distinguish it from any of the others we had passed. Of course, he'd been working here for… well, I didn't know how long, but it was probably a long time. Maybe he had some special way of knowing it was his door.

When we entered the room, I noticed a gray-haired man sitting in a chair against the wall, and a younger man with black hair and glasses tinkering with a busted-looking radio on one of the desks. As we came in, the both whipped their heads around and, upon seeing Roy, stood up and saluted. "Colonel Mustang! Welcome back sir," said the younger man.

The gray haired man noticed me. "Who's this?"

"I'm Havoc's-"

"She's a girl Havoc and Breda found on the street," Roy said, cutting me off. "She claims to come from America."

I narrowed my eyes. Whatever had happened to "if anyone asks?"

The gray haired man raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Very funny, sir. You know just as well as I do that America doesn't exist."

"I know that, but according to her, it does, and she says that all she wants is to get home." Roy narrowed his eyes at me. "And she certainly doesn't seem like the type of person who'd spend her time reading a book."

Glasses-guy scratched his temple. "I think I've read a book like this once," he said. "In it, a character from another book showed up in the real world, and they had to go find a Philosophers' Stone in order to get back into their story."

"A what-stone?" I asked.

"A Philosophers' Stone," said Roy.

"Do you know where one is?" These military guys seemed pretty important. If they could tell me where to find a stone…

"They're thought to be nothing more than a myth."

I opened my mouth, furious retort ready.

"However," he continued. "One of my subordinates is already searching for it. Perhaps he'll let you use it as well."

Now I was curious. "Who is he?"

"The Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric."

Oh, crap!

**~~NMT~~**

**I'm so sorry that this chapter took so long! Life got in the way, and my mom even threatened to kick me out of the house once. She even started packing my things up. Anyways, I'm sure you saw the tiny miniskirt scene was put in there. It may have been from the 2003 series, but you've gotta admit it's hilarious! **

**Here's the Omake!**

**~~OMAKE: Mr. Freeze~~**

"BRADLEY!"

McDougal rushed at the country's Fuhrer, frozen blood spear in hand. Bradley, however, pulled out his sword and slashed multiple times, too quickly for the eye to see. Half a second passed, and…

… McDougal's clothes all fell apart.

"Police!" Fuhrer Bradley screamed. "There's a pervert!"

"Just kill me now!" yelled a thoroughly humiliated McDougal.

-**おわ****り****-**

**Special thanks to**

Amethyst2241

Alice Nyte

Nikkome Konno

Nicjole

**And**

Alicia Elric

**For reviewing the last chapter!**


End file.
